I did not go to WalMart 4 times in one day, each time forgetting a different item.
I did not see an approximately 10 year old child with a pacifier in her mouth, pajama pants and no shoes in 26 degree weather on my fourth trip to WalMart.
And my 6 year old did not feel the need to point that out, quite loudly, followed by the phrase "that's disgusting."
I did not smile blamelessly as though I had no idea what the little cutie had just said.
I was not 15 minutes late taking my daughter to her very important Kindergarten Birthday Party because I underestimated that these people lived in the sticks, and I did not get lost leaving the party sight and end up 30 minutes north of my destination with my gas gage reading empty.
I did not teach my kids the words to a No Doubt song so that we could win Guitar Hero.