So I have been reading a little about post adoption panic or post adoption depression where parents get home and think "What the hell have I done?" In a really poignant article written by a mom who adopted a little boy from Bulgaria, she stated that she didn't have that "love at first sight" feeling that some adoptive parents feel. That falling in love with the pictures, the video etc. She tells of how she at first didn't love her son. She just had to pretend she did. And the more she pretended, the more she fell in love with him. It was a real tear jerker. I looked at the pictures today of Filemon and Merkeb with grandma and the tears just flowed. I don't expect to have the post adoption panic. I think we've already reached that stage at one point or another along this road. You know what I'm more afraid of? That I won't be able to leave the other children there. Crystal asked me to evaluate (as an RN) a little boy named Danny at the orphanage. I knew Danny right away because Julie had told me about him. Physically he is right on schedule, walking, potty trained etc. But emotionally and socially he is not. She wants me to spend some time with him to see what I think. In earlier pictures, he has a very blank look, and would sit in a chair, if placed there, for hours. But in the new pictures, he looks brighter and better. I told Crystal "you just want me to fall in love with him and have to go back to get him." She laughed and said no, she hoped to have the Julie/Tim phenomenon, where I come back and say "someone has to adopt this kid." I said I would work on that. So if you know of anyone who is interested in a possibly special needs, really cute little boy, let me know.