Santa left behind this deer. At first, he wasn't so bothersome. He was even kind of cute. I kept bringing him upstairs to put him away with the Christmas decorations in the garage. Then I would find him in the basement. Weird, but I was OK with it... How this deer gets all over the house, we just can't figure out.
Then he started moving around right under our noses. We found that he enjoys looking out the windows. You might think this sounds quite innocent, but this deer has a dark side. He can be quite naughty, you see. When you're walking through the house at night in the dark, he puts his little wooden paws out to trip you. When you're in a hurry, he jumps right in front of you to make you stumble. When he's naughty, he gets put in time out. We find him in the bathroom, the kitchen, the bedrooms, the laundry room...
But now this demented deer is hanging out outside our bedrooms and staring at us with those evil plastic eyes. Every time I turn around, this deer is in my face. But this morning, he's taken it a step too far.
* For you gullible types, the deer doesn't actually move. This whole thing started because I kept bringing it upstairs to be put away with the Christmas decorations. And Jeff kept making the kids take it downstairs. So then the next day, I would bring it back up... and so forth. Finally I'm like yelling at the deer, "Why do you keep doing this to me?" And Jeff is like "I'm so tired of those kids bringing that deer up here." After that we started moving it around the house when the kids weren't looking. He's ended up on the table, upside down on the couch, guarding the fridge, in our bed, and multiple other places. It's actually kind of funny. We'll put him in time out and then the kids will be like "Where is that naughty deer now?" And he'll be somewhere else. I guess we should name him. Leave your suggestions and we'll vote on the best name. The person who wins will get an autographed picture of us and the deer. Good luck!