Thursday, January 10, 2008

Dreams and ramblings

It's getting so close now, the children visit us every night in our sleep. I can see us getting to the orphanage and meeting them for the first time. Shimellis said the kids have been moved to a different orphanage. They are in the process of moving the entire orphanage to a different location. I know he said that it's closer to Addis. He was indicating that the kids are at point A, Faithe Children's home is a little further away at Point B and grandma lives the furthest away at Point C.

We are going to get to visit Faithe Children's Home where the kids have been living all this time, as well as Grandma's. We are also going to a Nun's Orphanage that has all children over the age of 2 and a government run orphanage. I really wanted to go to the government run orphanage. I have heard horror stories about what we would find there compared to the private orphanages. As worried as I am about it, I know that it will permanently stay with me.

This statement made me think about people who are so afraid to "feel" things. Those who avoid anything which is uncomfortable. anything painful. anything that hurts. We as a society are so doped up on antidepressants, I'm not sure anyone "feels" anything anymore.

So, I am expecting to have my heart broken over what I am about to experience. I know that as happy as we are going to be to get Filemon and Merkeb home, I will undoubtably be broken-hearted over the kids I can't bring home.

So back to our plans. We plan on getting to Addis, checking into the guesthouse and perhaps taking a shower/nap? I don't know about the nap - depends on how much we sleep on the way... Then we are going to the orphanage. Shimellis said to plan on spending some time there, getting to know the kids and playing with all of them. He said to take pictures of our kids throughout the whole week, and we would be able to, just in a week's time, be able to see big changes in them. Then we are free to take the kids with us.

I don't want to just show up and say come on, let's go... and take them away from everything they know. As happy as they are, that's got to be difficult. It's hard to remember that we are gaining something, they are gaining and losing. There will be grief involved with that. When they are ready, we plan on taking them back to the guesthouse for showers and Merkeb's first bubble bath... relaxing and getting to know one another.

We also have plans of going to the National Museum, the Ethiopian Orthodox church and King Menelik II's palace. Oh, and he is going to have the orphanage people find out the kids shoe sizes so we can take them some shoes! I know it's premature, but I am getting things ready to pack. I just can't wait much longer.

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