Saturday, May 03, 2008

A Perfect Day

I am a list maker. I am a planner. I am a dreamer. I admit I have a list, a criterion of sorts, of what constitutes my perfect day. It usually involves the beach, but other than the fact that we were no where near the beach; today was my perfect day.

We celebrated Jameson's birthday at the gym. She was appreciative and happy. We had a great time playing with the kids. Sometimes I fear that I spend way too much time cleaning and running around and not nearly enough time actually PLAYING with my kids. So anytime I can run around and act like an idiot, jumping on a trampoline, pl aying indoor soccer and doing cartwheels, I take advantage of it.

As I have stated, I am a planner. Usually everything we do is well thought out and planned by me. Although I must admit, sometimes the best times we have are those that are not planned.

After the party, we spontaneously decided to go out to eat with our friends Jeff and Charity. We decided to go to our new favorite place - Red Robin. Jeff and I are quite sentimental about the endless french fries. No not really, Red Robin is where Jeff and I went after our first adoption informational meeting, and where we shook hands and agreed that we would jump in with both feet and finally adopt! I guess you could say that's where we did the deed and got paper pregnant... well maybe we shouldn't go there....

During dinner, I mentioned that the Springfield Symphony was giving a performance at the Park downtown beginning at dusk. I had not planned on going because we are in the middle of some weird ice age and it was, once again, freezing cold. The sun was heading down and we were all the way across town from our house. We decided that if we hurried, we could make it. This would cause a change in drivers because Jeff is afraid to break the speed limit, and I've been known for having a bit of a lead foot. The whole way home, he's reminding me the speed limit and how many miles you can go over before you have to go to jail. (I've never even had a ticket...)

Any drill sargeant would have been proud of me. I proved that our kids can hurry when they want to. Once we pulled into the driveway, before I even put the car in park, I was yelling (nicely), "5 minutes. You've got 5 minutes to get ready and meet back at the car." And you know what? It worked. Jeff was the last one out. The kids were all waiting in the car! So now we are driving the opposite direction across town. On the way, Josh says, unsolicited, "Mommy, Daddy. I love you." He's said he loved us when we say it to him, but this was the first time, he has initiated that phrase. I almost ran off the road... but I was going 80 in a 55 around a corner...

We made it to the park and got our blankets laid out, everyone cuddling in their blankets listening to the symphony play songs from our favorite musical, "The Sound of Music." All 5 kids (we were sans Jordan) were singing along as this is one of our favorites. Even Josh and Jameson were singing along. Jameson leans over and says, "Mom, this is your favorite." I sat back, and all I could think was, "This is my favorite." This was my favorite kind of day. Sitting under the stars listening to the music, all I could think was this is what I had imagined life would be like. This is what I wanted when I wanted a large family. After the concert was over, the kids ran all over the park like lunatics. They were all playing and laughing together. This is why I wanted 6 kids. It is times like this that make me imagine having more. This is when I forget about all the daily crap we endure. The road rage. The dishes. The laundry. This is when the frustration and pain go away. This is my perfect day. Now all I've got to do is make this happen more often... because I feel like I'm in a dream. And I know 5 kids who fell asleep smiling, exhausted and very, very happy.


Jim & Laurel said...

Sounds just like our unplanned beach day this week. (see blog)

I, too, am a total planner. But ... sometimes the best days are the ones that we just let God plan, and we go along with it.

Oh to remember the days that I thought "6 kids is a LOT of kids" ... that was 15 years and 7 kids ago. :)


Laurel :)

Anonymous said...

Wow...makes ME want more kids!

I am so glad you have those absolutely, blissfully wonderful days tucked in amongst the not so easy rubber hitting the road days. What a blessing that Josh spontaneously expressed his love for you. I remember the first time my son kissed me...kind of a hit and run experience(!)...but precious beyond belief.

Your earlier posts describing your daughter holding you at arm's length has still lingered in my heart. Thinking about that, today, I dug up an old post of my own...a post I wrote when my heart was so heavy over the wall I could still reach out and touch that surrounded my son's heart. He was clingy, but held me at arm's length simultaneously...demanding of my time and attention...clinging all the more BECAUSE he did not trust that I was reliable and safe and permanent and would never leave him...kind of a clinging to me while ever pushing me away. He had a habit that was a physical parallel of what he was doing emotionally to me--he would call out to me, smiling brightly and holding his arms out wide and he would run towards me, but, just as he got within hugging reach, his arms would drop to his side and he would veer off sideways, never connecting with me. Even if I grabbed him up for the hug he had indicated was coming my way, I would find myself hugging him as his own arms hung limply at his side, his body squirming away, his eyes focused another direction. His invitation to a hug was not meant to result in a hug at all, but was just another way to demand, manipulate my attention. Always holding out the carrot of his love for me, just to jerk it away as I reached for it.

Anyway, as I read that post today...over a year further down the road...I had to smile at the corners we have rounded even since the writing of those words. My son is no longer transplanted. He is fully and completely and securely rooted...and, I get REAL hugs now...but it has been a long, slow journey.

Jenny H said...

You needed that day. You deserved that day. Thank you God for giving you that day. Love to you all.