Monday, May 05, 2008

The Emasculation of my Dog

For someone who doesn't particularly like pets, I sure find myself blogging about them an awful lot...
Justine has been begging for a girl poodle that she can dress up for about two years now. She tells everyone she's getting a poodle. Birthdays, Christmas, Groundhog Day... any and every holiday; the request is the same. And my reply is always the same as well, "We'll see."

A girl poodle. That's all she wants. A dog in a dress who can fit into one of those cute pet purses.

I don't want another dog. I don't really even want the ones I've got.
You've heard about my experience with the barking menace and the pogo jumping, pool cover crashing mess.

I think Justine has come up with the perfect solution.

Yes we have changed Russell into a girl. No we didn't do anything surgical or permanent. It's simply a matter of changing a pronoun. He is now a she. Him is now a her. If we spoke Spanish, it would end in an a instead of an e. It's all about the vernacular.

Come on people, I need to know I'm not doing permanent damage by allowing my kids to put dresses on my male dog. And call her "she." And paint "her" nails.

I know we have taken away this little dog's last little bit of dignity. Self-esteem. Self-concept. Self-worth.

The good news is that this little dog has had more love and affection since "her" transformation than "she" has had in years. I think that even little Russell would agree that a little lovin' is worth dressing in drag for a while.

Doesn't "she" look so happy?
Justine and "Russell" with the new pet carrier purse.
Doesn't "she" look so thrilled?
It's almost a look of utter despair in those eyes...
Yes, that says Biker Babe.

My Drag Queen Dog.


Jenny H said...

He/She it's all the same. Russett looks so pretty. Thanks for the good laugh.

Monica said...

Russelletta is a good sport, bless his (I mean HER) heart!

Don't feel guilty, you are just giving your dog the opportunity to be all things to all children...and that has a rather Biblical ring to it, if you ask me!

CleverPriebes said...

It will all come out in therapy. Good thing dogs don't stalk you in the night with scissors screaming, "why, why why!!!"