I think I might be a bad neighbor.
My elderly, over-achieving, obcessed with their yard, retired neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Chachka (names have been changed to protect their identity), came over today with a long list of complaints against us.
I can completely defend our position in almost all of these situations.
Our dogs bark too much.
This is probably because the kids put the dog in the bathtub with his shock collar on, and now it doesn't work very well. The big dog only barks because the little dog barks because he is now sans shock collar.
Our basketball goal is lying in the yard (on the side of the house).
You can't even see it from the front yard. It's only there because a few months ago, when Jordan first started driving, she ran over it and drug it through the yard. Eventually the base ran out of water from the huge hole she punctured in it, and I found it lying over my car. It's not fixable, and I don't know how to get rid of it. Plus, it reminds Jordan of the importance of paying attention while driving everytime she pulls into the driveway.
And lastly, our cat needs a collar with a bell.
Evidently, Mr. Fluffers has been killing birds in her yard. My 10 year old senile, arthritic, overweight, incontinent, declawed cat has been preying on the birds in her chachka yard.
So this was the one complaint we thought we might be able to work with.
So here's what we came up with:
Or maybe this one?
What do you think?