Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I love fireworks

Yes, I know I'm contradicting myself. I can't be trusted. On the fourth of July, we went to a huge, outdoor fireworks display and Christian concert put on by a church in our community. From what I heard, there were about 100,000 people there. It's one of those occasions where you pack up the cooler, the kids, the bag chairs, the picnic blankets, the card games, bags of food, the kitchen sink... you get my point. I think we started packing for this occasion back in June. As we loaded up the kids... and by loaded up, I mean piled stuff on them to carry, we started our long trek into the main event. Justine was carrying her bag, a chair and a blanket, and as she began to lag behind, I asked her if she was OK. Her reply was sentiment of the entire day, "Never Better." Everyone got along. Everyone participated in carrying all of our belongings. They kids helped each other. Jeff and I were able to handle the fiasco of keeping track of 5 kids among thousands without even so much as a harsh word. It was fabulous.

As the sun went down and the music began, the kids all settled in on their blankets in front of us. I felt this calmness and absurd dream like feeling come over me. It was as if I were watching our family from a window. I remembered back to last 4th of July when my adoption frenzy peaked. Last summer, I was so desperate to begin the process. I can remember sitting there wondering what the year would hold for us. This year as I sat and watched the fireworks, it was as if every single one of my neurons were supercharged. I felt like I had an altered sense of awareness. Perhaps an LSD trip without the LSD? Who knows? With every single boom and pop of the fireworks, something was ignited within my heart. I soaked in the sulfur smell of the fireworks. The flash of the lights was embedded in my soul. The music vibrated me. The coolness of the air gave me goose bumps. The words of the songs praising God in front of so many unchurched people brought tears to my eyes. This is one of the moments life is about. This was one of those moments that make me feel alive. This is one of those extraordinary moments that make all the other ordinary moments tolerable.

No comments: