It is so important for parents to have a united front when parenting kids.
Parents: Do Not Throw Your Spouses Under the Bus!
Case in point:
I am often seen as the disciplinarian for our adopted kids. I am the teacher who is constantly correcting their work. I am the one who spends most of the time with them. Josh's birthday was Sunday. He has complained about his cell phone since he got it at his last birthday. We had a credit at Sprint, so we thought we would take a gander at an upgrade.
Not only did he not want the upgraded phone that would cost us less money, but he wanted the much more expensive phone. When we were told the credit wouldn't apply to the phone, and the actualy cost was like $275, I said forget it.
Flash foward a day:
Jeff finds a slide phone (just like ours mind you...) refurbished for a MUCH cheaper price. Mind you, I didn't have this nice of a phone until I was 35... and I paid for it myself.
I could hear Jeff apologizing to him after he gave him the phone. I could hear him making excuses and telling him we'd get him the nicer phone next year. I couldn't, however, hear the words "thank you" coming from my son's mouth.
I felt my pulse quicken and the hair on the back of my neck stiffen. Since when do we apologize when giving our kids $100 gifts? Since when does a 13 year old require or deserve something nicer than everyone else in the house?
I confronted Jeff, who said, "Well, he just looked so pissed over the phone..."
This seems to be an ongoing thing with my adopted kids.... everyone feels so sorry for them.
I'm sorry for what they went through, but by God, they're not going through it now. They have a pretty awesome life now, and I am sick to death of everyone coddling them.
But what do we expect when we apologize before giving them a gift?
This is an ongoing issue and it going to be a sore spot for me for a long time. I am made to be the bad one time and time again.
"Mom said no Rated R movies."
"Mom said no to the $275 phone."
"Mom said.... blah blah blah."
Kids need a united front because it's confusing. It's unfair. It causes division.
These kids are like sharks in the water... they can smell blood and they know when the mom and the dad aren't on the same page. Jeff and I weren't even in the same book or at the same library over this one.