This post is hard to write.
I've put it off for quite some time. I've put off a lot of stuff for quite some time... decisions... decisions.
This is a decision I've struggled with for months. I've gone back and forth numerous times. You may read a post down the road that is totally contrary to this one, who knows?
But for now, the plan is for all the kids to public school next year.
I'm done. I have a permanent kink in my neck. I sport a mean mug most days. My frustration is through the roof. I feel like I am mothered out. I've got nothing left to give.
I am no longer a nice person.
In the end, it came down to a decision of quality versus quantity. I homeschooled from the beginning because I couldn't stand the thought of being away from them for an entire day... not to mention 5 days a week! It was never a decision that was about not liking the public schools or "protecting" them from the secular world. I believe that if you teach your kids at home what's right and wrong, they will carry that with them wherever they go. I just wanted them with me as much as possible because I realized how fast they would grow up!
So am I willing to just see them for a few hours in the afternoon and evenings and have fun with them versus being miserable with them at home all day? Well, finally, I think I am.
I'm ready to be able to go to the grocery store alone. To doctors appointments without having to bribe someone to watch them and throwing our entire schedule out the window. To get my hair cut if I want to. To have a clean house and dinner ready when everyone gets home.
I know. It's hard to believe. It's hard for me to believe. I was always such a homeschooling fanatic. I loved it. I loved the lesson planning. I loved the field trips. I loved it. I was the ultimate homeschooling cheerleader!
But I am tired. It's too much with 5 kids. I know some people do it just fine. It's just too much for me. 5 kids from ages 7 to 12 is kicking my butt. Seriously. Homeschooling M-F and working every weekend for the past 7 years is catching up with me.
I know that there are still going to be bad days getting them up and to school on time and remembering lunch money and homework at night, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I want them to be excited about it. I want them to have fun at school and enjoy learning.
I want to enjoy them again and to do that... I'm gonna need some time away from them.