Enjoy some of my favorites this week. You know it's a good week when the messages are prefaced with public service announcements.
Yep. This is my life. It's quite glamorous isn't it?
Message: "We're roller skating."
Message: "It's much harder than I remember. So much for muscle memory... my legs are killing me."
Reply: "Don't fall on your butt..."
Message: "Loosened my skate. Much better now. Jameson is actually crawling off the floor... hands and knees."
Reply: "Safest for her. I'm sure."
Message: "They're playing billie jean and the disco ball is on and its dark. I feel like I'm in junior high."
Reply: "Slow skate's up next..."
Message: "Oooohh. Journey. I'm slow skating with Jack. Strangers walking down the boulevard..."
Reply: "Don't stop believin'"
Reply: "Told ya so..."
Message: "OK breaks over. Everybody was kung fu fightin'"
Message: "HAHAHAHA. Josh is doing the limbo."
Message: "I think you are underestimating the hilarity of the situation."
Message: "OMG. Justine just tried. She did the splits, put her hands in front of her on the floor and pulled herself all the way across the floor... using her hands. I am crying."
Message: "She looked like the dog when he wipes his butt on the carpet..."
Message: "I'm sending you a pic..."
Reply: "I am crying too..."
Message: "Thanks for the runner's cookbook."
Reply: "Did you recognize the two of us at the front of the pack on the cover of the cookbook?"
Message: "I thought we looked familiar."
Reply: "I recognized you by the tan line on your quads!"
Reply: "That's so funny cause gross is exactly what I was going for. It's the word I thought of to myself as I sent that."
Message: "Holy crap. I just Marsha Brady'd justine in the face with a basketball. Her eyes rolled around just like a cartoon and she fell down. Oops."
Message: "Josh went to subway with my f-i-l. He said he knew what everybody would want on their sandwiches. He got everyone warm meatball subs with lettuce, mayonnaise, cucumbers and peppers..."
Reply: "Mayo on meatballs... yummy."
Message: "Jeff made everyone scrape off their peppered balls and eat them anyway. Josh is a popular guy around here today."
Message: "I want to make a snow village next year. I want to do an east side and a west side. Nice pretty traditional houses on the west and across the tracks on the east side a ghetto. Is that wrong of me?"
Reply: "I absolutely love it! I have a snow village. I wonder if they have ghetto houses I could add..."
Message: "I was gonna google it. I can't imagine who would make them but maybe somewhere sick invented them and then a person with a delightful sense of humor mass produced them."
Message: "How's work going?"
Reply: "Oh it's OK. I just got told off by an 84 year old with an attitude..."
Message: "Did you tell her, Oh yeah? Well at least my hips are real?"
Reply: "No sadly I didn't think of that at the time."
*warning... this work related conversation deals with the subject matter of colostomies and exploding colostomy bags... It may not be appropriate for those with weak gag reflexes or loved ones with a colostomy. This conversation is in no way intended to make people with colostomies feel bad. Clearly a colostomy is a wonderful thing when you need it. But not so much when it's erupting like Mt Vesuvius all over you at work.
Reply: "How's it going now?"
Message: "Colostomy volcano just exploded. OMG."
Reply: "Sounds messy..."
Message: "I am ill."
Message: "I have colostophobia."
Reply: "Me too. I wonder what the word is when you hate them too..."
Message: "I don't know. I'm racking my brain but can't think of the word... colostorepugnation?"
Reply: "Turns out it's a prefix, it's miso or misos - misostomist. I think we invented a new word."
Message: "We are so smart."
Message: "I asked Justine who loves her. She said you do but mom does especially. That hurts."
Reply: "True True"