I received the book Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris this Christmas.
Well actually it was a pre-Christmas gift.
I want to recommend this book only if you enjoy hysterically funny short stories about the holidays. It's pretty dark and sadistic, so don't expect a feel good, Chicken Soup kinda aura.
There is the occasional vulgarity thrown in every once and again, and it's definitely not a holiday book for children. But it made me laugh A LOT.
My favorite story so far is SantaLand Diaries written from the perspective of Mr. Sedaris, a starving writer willing to take any job he can find, which turns out to be Santa's Elf at Macy's in New York City.
"This afternoon I worked as an Exit Elf, telling people in a loud voice, "THIS WAY OUT OF SANTALAND." A woman was standing at one of the cash registers paying for her idea of a picture, while her son lay beneath her kicking and heaving, having a tantrum.
The woman said, "Riley, if you don't start behaving yourself, Santa's not going to bring you any of those toys you asked for."
The child said, "He is too going to bring me toys, liar, he already told me."
The woman grabbed my arm and said, "You there, Elf, tell Riley here that if he doesn't start behaving immediately, then Santa's going to change his mind and bring him coal for Christmas."
I said that Santa no longer traffics coal. Instead, if you're bad he comes to your house and steals things. I told Riley that if he didn't behave himself, Santa was going to take away his TV and all his electrical appliances and leave him in the dark. "All your appliances, including the refrigerator. Your food is going to spoil and smell bad. It's going to be so cold and dark where you are. Man, Riley, are you ever going to suffer. You're going to wish you never heard the name Santa."
The woman got a worried look on her face and said, "All right, that's enough."
I said, "He's going to take your car and your furniture and all the towels and blankets and leave you with nothing,"
The mother said, "No, that's enough, really."
I warned you it was a little dark.