Saturday, December 12, 2009

The more things change... the more they stay the same

It's been a year of change for us. I think I say that every year. OK, it's been 2 years of change for us... As I recently verbalized out loud, change brings out the weirdness in me. I crave change in certain ways. I never have the same hair style twice. I move my furniture around constantly! It drives the kids crazy. If they don't pay close attention, they end up tripping over the couch or being lost in the laundry room.

But in other ways, I despise change. It makes me sad that the kids are no longer babies. It makes me sad to see Jordan gone to college. I am reminded constantly how I am changing and closing in on 40. Change brings out the weirdness in me.

Sometimes I just wish we could slow down, pause and forward frame by frame our lives. I wish I could go back and enjoy my kids babyhood again. I call it the "summer camp syndrome." No matter how horrible it was, you only remember the good parts and swear it was the best time of your life. (Not that their babyhoods were horrible for me, but it was a very sleep deprived, poor, stressful time in my life) I remember when the kids were 0, 2, and 4 and 12, and I seriously thought I was going to run away from home. Now I wish I could go back and relive all of those years, but with the knowledge of how fast time would go.

I awoke with the knowledge today that all eight of us would be together today. We would be eating dinner at the same table. We would be cuddled up watching movies together TONIGHT! After several months, we will finally be together.

Tomorrow, we will go to church together, and then hike to the woods to cut down our Christmas tree. OK, so I'm joking about that part, but we are going to get a real tree this year. And we're going to do simple decorations on that real tree. We are going to focus on the real reason for Christmas and enjoy spending time together.

My girl is home. She came with a bag of laundry... which I expected. And dirty dishes... which I did not expect. So today, I pray to slow down and enjoy our time together, and hopefully the more things change, the more they will stay the same.


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