Monday, November 10, 2008

Diving in...

With my Twilight book quadrology completed, I am seeking some new reading material. While at the library today, I happened to glance down and see the book titled, Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Gogen. If you are interested, you can find this book here at amazon. Well isn't that just a coincidence? Because that's exactly what I need assistance with! So of course I added it to our milk crate on wheels that we take weekly to the library.

Chapter One: I began reading with enthusiasm. The book follows five families who have adopted during their first year at home. The backgrounds of the children range from foster care to orphanages with single caregivers to many caregivers. The children range in age from 7 months to the oldest at age four.
Well crud.
The air is definitely let out of my sails because I need help with my older adopted kids, and it's next to impossible to find any literature and research about older kids! But I decide to keep reading thinking that perhaps it may shed some light on our kids. Later on in the chapter, it actually addresses the fact that even if your kids are older, it's important to learn about the information in these early chapters. Yeah, score one for me!

And so I am diving in. And I thought I would share the highlighted points with all of you.
(OK so I'm not actually highlighting in a library book, but you get my point)
OK my pearl from chapter one:
"Children with complex backgrounds do not communicate clearly about their needs. Parents must behave as if the child has expressed those needs."

I am looking forward to increasing my knowledge about how to interpret their needs. Maybe I am missing something with Josh. Maybe he is trying to tell me something, but he just lacks the ability to do so. It is so confusing because when he wants something, he can be so charming and sweet. Josh and Jackson wanted to watch a movie tonight, therefore I received feedback, some eye contact, complete sentences and even a hug and a kiss. I know that he knows HOW to do these things... I just don't know how to get him to do these things on a consistent basis without feeling like I am constantly being manipulated.

Well off to do some reading. I'll let you know what pearl Chapter 2 holds for me.


Laurel said...

I'll look forward to hearing more of what you are learning.



PS: Maybe we need to write a book about adopting older kids. Yikes!

ellerbee eight said...

I know... right! We totally need to write a book about adopting older kids, except I seem to still be floundering about after 9 months... I've got to get this figured out... for the kids as well as the future book deal!

Larsons said...

A thought for Josh. Reading in the presence of God: Reflect or ponder what does this mean. Sitting with the text, allowing the Spirit to EXPAND OUR LISTENING CAPACITY AND TO OPEN US UP TO A DEEPER MEANING. To increase love for others THAT flows from a relationship. God needs to be in the class room And to know He is ever present. Knows all thing, walking with us wherever we go. mom