I don't know how it happened. I'm not even sure when it happened. But when I look at this boy, there is absolutely nothing in my heart that holds me back. There is nothing that separates me from him. I look at him and I can almost imagine him as a baby... my baby. I can almost insert memories of him as a tiny child that I know aren't mine, but could be if I concentrated hard enough. I can't imagine a time when he wasn't here. I can't even fathom what it would be like for him to not be here. I prayed for this moment, thinking it would be like this huge celestial happening where the angels would begin singing and the earth would stop rotating, but instead it was a slow and steady process where both of us got over our hang ups, our hearts softened, and we bonded. Adopting older children is a crazy, wild, roller coaster of emotions for the kids as well as the parents, and the payoff is absolutely amazing.