Friday, September 10, 2010

Verbal Vomit

Our transition to public school has gone... well... swimmingly, for most everyone.

Justine is bored to death. Her spelling words are words she did in kindergarten. Her teacher jokingly refers to her as her "college student." She likes school for the most part.

Jaiden is the social butterfly we knew she would be. I haven't seen her do any homework at home, and she insists she's doing it all at school, but I guess time will tell whether that's true or not.

Jack is thriving. He was the one I was a little worried about, but he is a reading fool and seems to be learning to organize and get his assignments turned in. He's going to play the xylophone in the band.

Josh is doing OK. He seems to be getting the hang of it. He doesn't ask for help very often and usually thinks he knows everything anyway, so once again, time will tell.

And that leaves Jameson.

Jameson is being evaluated for special education. She is so far behind and so clueless about what they are doing in 5th grade. This is impossible. Evidently it takes 30 days for them to evaluate for special ed. I took in all her test results (the ones that showed her at the low end of 2nd grade) the second week of school because I knew she would need an IEP (individualized education plan) and possibly a 504 (for medical needs). I tried to get all of those this summer (and even at the end of last school year when we knew she was going to public school), but no one seemed interested then.

It started as little things. She keeps losing her glasses. She leaves her stuff all over the house. She almost misses the bus (while looking for her glasses that she has no idea where she put). Forgets her homework. Hides her homework. Lies about her homework. Fights with me about how to do her homework. She fights with me about wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts to school although she won't take her jacket off and complains about being cold. She just can't seem to get it together. But we keep on trying. Jordan has been great about helping her with her homework. But Jordan's going to be gone soon.

Things seemed to come to a pivotal turn last night while Jameson and I were on a 5 hour homework run. Every time she would tell me she was done, I would find more work. I think she had hid it for several days because I seriously doubt they assigned 3 pages in math and 3 other pages in English. The piano teacher was here and complaining that no one had practiced their piano. Jameson was fighting with me about why it was my fault she hasn't practiced piano. The doorbell kept ringing with neighborhood kids wanting to play. The phone was ringing. 4 kids needed help RIGHT now. Justine started crying and sobs, "You never have time to listen to me read because you're always helping her..." I felt like the room began spinning out of control as I looked at what my life has become.

I typed up a quick letter to the special ed department to let them know we would no longer be doing 5 hour marathon nights of homework, and that they need to get special ed figured out RIGHT now. I requested an after school tutor. We have to do something because we cannot do this. This is not working. Everyone else is suffering. I am suffering. This is ridiculous. I emailed the piano teacher that we are quitting for now. I am done. This is why I couldn't homeschool anymore because all my time was going towards her. And now, the same thing is happening. I guess if the school can't get an after school tutor, I will just pay for one because I cannot do this anymore.

How's that for a verbal vomit of my life? Not very pretty, is it?



G i n a said...

I'm glad you're back, verbal vomit or not.

I want to feed you words of wisdom and soothe you somehow, but I don't know how. I nod my head from this side of the monitor because, albeit different circumstances, I've had a few child-induced breakdowns myself lately.

It's a tough road, and you will someday reap the rewards from all of this madness. From where I'm sitting, they should award you a golden throne, a castle with servants, and all the sleep you will ever desire. Where do we find such a thing? ;) Either way, to leave you with words you don't really want to hear because they're meaningless right now -- this too shall pass. You're doing great, even if you don't see it.


Julia said...

Ugh. Thanks for your email Gina and I hope the stupid school got it figured out. I saw your tattoo, cool. I hope that love win, I really really do. I'm horrified by our lives right now---something needs to change for all of us! Hugs, Julia