Message: "So Jeff and I were at lunch and our waiter dude told us that when he gets drunk he likes to call his grandma and do prince impersonations on her answering machine. That's weird. Right?"
Reply: "And funny."
Message: "Purple Rain. purple rain..."
Message: "I'm having some alone time."
Reply: "Good you should. These kids will suck you fry."
Reply: "I mean dry. LOL"
Message: "We think fry is probably more appropriate."
Message: "Jackson + Walmart = Suicide."
Message: "When do you want your meat?"
Reply: "Is this a trick question...?"
Message: "Your deer meat..."
Reply: "Oh yeah. I forgot about that..."
Message: "She's about to ride the bull."
Reply: "I want pictures."
Reply: "Wow. I can hardly see the bull..."
Message: "I had a dream I had a room on the ocean with these huge windows and whales and polar bears and stuff could swim up through my floor..."
Reply: "What do you think your dream was about?"
Message: "I have no idea. But I could see whale sharks swimming below but I was too afraid to get in the water. My kids kept falling in the water on accident. Interpret that."
Reply: "I need more..."
Message: "That's all I remember. It was beautiful though. It was someone's bedroom although there were no beds and that concerned me...."
Reply: "Maybe you secretly yearn for more adventure/excitement in your life, but you're afraid, as opposed to your children, who still have youth and leap without looking?"
Message: "Shut up Freud..."
Message: "I can't believe you told me my cat was dead... over facebook..."
Reply: "No, I said he was missing and presumed dead..."
Message: "We found Mr. Kitty and he is still fat. I think he's been living in a commune with a crack whore..."
No response because busy girls in Chi Town don't have time to respond to text messages about their beloved cats...