Who we used to be

I've been getting a lot of emails from classmates.com which has been reminding me that my 20 year high school reunion is in 24 months. I rarely look at the emails from classmates.com because quite frankly I don't really even care what those people are doing. My best friend Lisa and I see each other several times a year and email constantly. I have known her longer than any single person in my life who I'm not related to. I figure as long as I keep in touch with her, I'm doing pretty good.

The last time I thought about reunions and all of that crap was about the time of my 10 year high school reunion. I guess I became curious about what everyone was up to, so I signed up for classmates.com and they still contact me. The internet was a relatively new thing to us back then, and I was somewhat intrigued by it, obcessed with it, whatever. Our first computer was "bought" from a rent to own place. We probably paid like $3000 for the thing or something. Who would have thought that just 10 years later, we would have 6 computers in our house?

Anyway, I started browsing around classmates and signed myself up for the generic, "Hey, I'm still alive. Here's how you can contact me." Attempting to be cheap and not knowing how to use the internet very well, I decided to sign in Jeff at his high school under the same account. Once again, I just did a brief, "this is who I was and this is how you can get a hold of me."

It wasn't very long after that my sister-in-law Jenny called me laughing hysterically. I evidently had signed Jeff in under my name, and his bio said,

"In high school, I was known as Jeff Ellerbee. Now I'm known as Gina Ellerbee."

Let's just say that since it appeared I outed my tranvestite husband on the internet in front of all of his high school chums, I haven't been allowed to do much with classmates.com for the last 10 years.

But back to our 10 year high school reunion. My friend Lisa and I did go back in 2000. I remember specifically bribing and brainwashing Jordan, who was 9 years and 7 months old (you do the math), to tell people she was 8 years old. Heaven help me. God forgive me. I also loaned out Jaiden, who was just a few months old, to Lisa who pretended she belonged to her. She didn't want people to know that she was 28 and didn't have any children yet. Oh I can't believe we did that!

So, what I'm trying to figure out... is this:

How do I turn this:

Back into this? In a mere 24 months?