May 13, 2008
Mr. Hubbard
Mrs. Wilson
Staff of McGregor Elementary
Dear Mr. Hubbard,
After a conversation with Mrs. Wilson regarding our decision to hold Josh and Jameson back next year, it has come to my attention that many staff members at McGregor Elementary disagree with this decision. I would like to attempt to put our feelings on paper to perhaps illuminate this decision, as well as encourage your staff to see the bigger picture.
During our discussion, the fact that Josh will be taller than his peers next year kept coming up. When I questioned Mrs. Wilson about whether we move children up according to their height or according to their academic needs, she insisted it wasn't about that. However, this discussion was about Josh and not Jameson because, according to Mrs. Wilson, Jameson has such a short stature, she wouldn't be bigger than the other children. Jameson is in the 3rd percentile for height for children her age, does that mean we should put her in the 1st grade?
Mrs. Wilson felt that she needed to "go on the record" about this decision we have made for our children. She felt that holding Josh back could affect his self concept and self esteem for years to come. Our children have watched both of their parents die in front of them. They have lived through extreme poverty and famine. They have left their caregivers and friends and have come to a country where they know little of the language, the food, or the customs. We feel that giving them an extra year to try to master some of the core concepts is absolutely nothing compared to what they have been through in their short lives. I seriously doubt if holding them back a year is what's going to cause future emotional problems.
We feel that Junior High is a time of independence; a time to stretch a little and learn to make good decisions. We feel that putting Josh in that environment, socially, could be devastating to him. Josh is still learning to be responsible for his own things, getting his homework done and turned in appropriately, even learning to make a sandwich by himself. He still requires a daily reminder to take his backpack and lunchbox to school. He is in no possible way ready for the environment of Junior High. We think it's very important to look at the whole picture when making these decisions. We understand that there is pressure to "leave no child behind," however we do not believe in celebrating mediocrity. We want our children to have the opportunity to excel and learn and not just get by and get through the system.
Our children are enrolled in summer school, and we plan on working on several of the areas we have identified that they are behind in, but we stand firm in our decision to allow Josh to "grow" socially, emotionally, and academically another year before sending him to a Junior High environment. We appreciate the professional opinions we have received, but we feel strongly that 6 weeks is not enough time to complete the fifth grade. We would request support in this decision with the understanding that we are the parents, and ultimately we are the ones responsible for these children.
Sincerely,
Jeff and Gina Ellerbee
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
My mother's day cards
My oldest daughter Jordan sent me these wonderful Mother's Day cards from Someecards - when you care enough to hit send.
She's pretty funny, isn't she? She gets that from me...
She's pretty funny, isn't she? She gets that from me...ESL -English as a Second Language or Everyone's the Same Length?
I am so frustrated and upset with our public school system.
I am somewhat new to this public school thing... Jordan is the only one who has gone to public school. Other than Mrs. Robinson in the fifth grade who kept losing her homework, we've had an OK experience with public school. Of course, she was in the gifted education program, and they have a really great program. Even that being said, she and I both have said we wish she could homeschool and she still get her IB diploma. Going to school to sit and do nothing just to get the hours in that the government mandates seems like a huge waste of time.
I have been somewhat disappointed with Josh and Jameson's public school experience thus far. Here's the typical report I receive from them about what they did at school: ate candy, ate ice cream, ate popcorn, watched movies...
I received a call today from the ESL teacher who called to "go on the record" to tell us that holding Josh back in 5th grade (which we're doing because he only actually went for 2 months, and WE ARE his parents) will be detrimental to his social and emotional well-being because he's going to be taller than all of his classmates.
Her platform of disagreement was that the Springfield Public School System does not agree with holding kids back for any reason. She informed us that this decision is basically going to ruin his life. Ruin his social skills. Ruin his self-esteem. I guess this explains why so many people graduate from high school without a clue how to read. She kept saying that holding Jameson back would be fine because of her small stature. But Josh is going to be taller than all of his peers.... She indicated that she had been talking about this with her peers all week, and how they all disagreed with our decision to hold Josh back a year. Wow, we've been a topic of conversation.
So when I asked if we move people ahead based on their height instead of their educational level, she said, "Oh no. That's not what I want you to think. But Josh is going to be so much taller than his peers." What????????
Jeff and I feel that their education has been so shotty in Ethiopia. There are still so many things that they don't know. Josh has minimal reading comprehension. He absolutely has no writing or spelling abilities... Please reader know that I'm not being hard on Josh, but simply pointing out that he is a VERY bright kid who still has a lot to learn. Neither Josh nor Jameson know their multiplication tables. Fingers are still required for addition and subtraction.
Junior high is such a different environment. Josh still needs to be reminded to take his backpack and lunch to school...to take a towel to swimming... We are still trying to make him responsbile for himself and his things. The responsibility is not there yet, and we feel strongly that moving him into a junior high environment is a really bad idea. Talk about getting lost in the shuffle.
I tried to explain that we want Josh to excel in school and not just be passed along because he's the same height as everyone else... I don't want him to just get by. I want him to GET it!
I told her Jeff and I were really going to have to talk about this. Of course Jeff was as upset as I was. He basically said, "Let's just go take them out right now. We can homeschool them better than that."
I really don't know what we're going to do. I'm really disappointed and pissed right now at our school system, and I think that this lack of a backbone of the school system is a direct link to what's going on in our society full of mediocre people who just made it through and didn't get it. We put them in school because we thought the "ESL" thing would help them so much... I can't see that they are doing anything except going on field trips, watching movies, and eating candy. We were hesitant to put them in Gloria Deo Academy with the other kids because GDA is grades ahead of public school, the memory work is very difficult, and it is generally very academically rigorous. I didn't want to stress them out. Evidently public school is not stressful at all because there are no expectations except less than mediocrity.
We are going to meet with the principal, the ESL teacher and the individual teachers about this. Wish us luck! I have a very low threshold for this kind of crap. I have paid a lot of taxes for our public school system, and have not even used it. I expected better than this.
I am somewhat new to this public school thing... Jordan is the only one who has gone to public school. Other than Mrs. Robinson in the fifth grade who kept losing her homework, we've had an OK experience with public school. Of course, she was in the gifted education program, and they have a really great program. Even that being said, she and I both have said we wish she could homeschool and she still get her IB diploma. Going to school to sit and do nothing just to get the hours in that the government mandates seems like a huge waste of time.
I have been somewhat disappointed with Josh and Jameson's public school experience thus far. Here's the typical report I receive from them about what they did at school: ate candy, ate ice cream, ate popcorn, watched movies...
I received a call today from the ESL teacher who called to "go on the record" to tell us that holding Josh back in 5th grade (which we're doing because he only actually went for 2 months, and WE ARE his parents) will be detrimental to his social and emotional well-being because he's going to be taller than all of his classmates.
Her platform of disagreement was that the Springfield Public School System does not agree with holding kids back for any reason. She informed us that this decision is basically going to ruin his life. Ruin his social skills. Ruin his self-esteem. I guess this explains why so many people graduate from high school without a clue how to read. She kept saying that holding Jameson back would be fine because of her small stature. But Josh is going to be taller than all of his peers.... She indicated that she had been talking about this with her peers all week, and how they all disagreed with our decision to hold Josh back a year. Wow, we've been a topic of conversation.
So when I asked if we move people ahead based on their height instead of their educational level, she said, "Oh no. That's not what I want you to think. But Josh is going to be so much taller than his peers." What????????
Jeff and I feel that their education has been so shotty in Ethiopia. There are still so many things that they don't know. Josh has minimal reading comprehension. He absolutely has no writing or spelling abilities... Please reader know that I'm not being hard on Josh, but simply pointing out that he is a VERY bright kid who still has a lot to learn. Neither Josh nor Jameson know their multiplication tables. Fingers are still required for addition and subtraction.
Junior high is such a different environment. Josh still needs to be reminded to take his backpack and lunch to school...to take a towel to swimming... We are still trying to make him responsbile for himself and his things. The responsibility is not there yet, and we feel strongly that moving him into a junior high environment is a really bad idea. Talk about getting lost in the shuffle.
I tried to explain that we want Josh to excel in school and not just be passed along because he's the same height as everyone else... I don't want him to just get by. I want him to GET it!
I told her Jeff and I were really going to have to talk about this. Of course Jeff was as upset as I was. He basically said, "Let's just go take them out right now. We can homeschool them better than that."
I really don't know what we're going to do. I'm really disappointed and pissed right now at our school system, and I think that this lack of a backbone of the school system is a direct link to what's going on in our society full of mediocre people who just made it through and didn't get it. We put them in school because we thought the "ESL" thing would help them so much... I can't see that they are doing anything except going on field trips, watching movies, and eating candy. We were hesitant to put them in Gloria Deo Academy with the other kids because GDA is grades ahead of public school, the memory work is very difficult, and it is generally very academically rigorous. I didn't want to stress them out. Evidently public school is not stressful at all because there are no expectations except less than mediocrity.
We are going to meet with the principal, the ESL teacher and the individual teachers about this. Wish us luck! I have a very low threshold for this kind of crap. I have paid a lot of taxes for our public school system, and have not even used it. I expected better than this.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Who we used to be
I've been getting a lot of emails from classmates.com which has been reminding me that my 20 year high school reunion is in 24 months. I rarely look at the emails from classmates.com because quite frankly I don't really even care what those people are doing. My best friend Lisa and I see each other several times a year and email constantly. I have known her longer than any single person in my life who I'm not related to. I figure as long as I keep in touch with her, I'm doing pretty good.
The last time I thought about reunions and all of that crap was about the time of my 10 year high school reunion. I guess I became curious about what everyone was up to, so I signed up for classmates.com and they still contact me. The internet was a relatively new thing to us back then, and I was somewhat intrigued by it, obcessed with it, whatever. Our first computer was "bought" from a rent to own place. We probably paid like $3000 for the thing or something. Who would have thought that just 10 years later, we would have 6 computers in our house?
Anyway, I started browsing around classmates and signed myself up for the generic, "Hey, I'm still alive. Here's how you can contact me." Attempting to be cheap and not knowing how to use the internet very well, I decided to sign in Jeff at his high school under the same account. Once again, I just did a brief, "this is who I was and this is how you can get a hold of me."
It wasn't very long after that my sister-in-law Jenny called me laughing hysterically. I evidently had signed Jeff in under my name, and his bio said,
"In high school, I was known as Jeff Ellerbee. Now I'm known as Gina Ellerbee."
Let's just say that since it appeared I outed my tranvestite husband on the internet in front of all of his high school chums, I haven't been allowed to do much with classmates.com for the last 10 years.
But back to our 10 year high school reunion. My friend Lisa and I did go back in 2000. I remember specifically bribing and brainwashing Jordan, who was 9 years and 7 months old (you do the math), to tell people she was 8 years old. Heaven help me. God forgive me. I also loaned out Jaiden, who was just a few months old, to Lisa who pretended she belonged to her. She didn't want people to know that she was 28 and didn't have any children yet. Oh I can't believe we did that!
So, what I'm trying to figure out... is this:
How do I turn this:
Back into this? In a mere 24 months?
The last time I thought about reunions and all of that crap was about the time of my 10 year high school reunion. I guess I became curious about what everyone was up to, so I signed up for classmates.com and they still contact me. The internet was a relatively new thing to us back then, and I was somewhat intrigued by it, obcessed with it, whatever. Our first computer was "bought" from a rent to own place. We probably paid like $3000 for the thing or something. Who would have thought that just 10 years later, we would have 6 computers in our house?
Anyway, I started browsing around classmates and signed myself up for the generic, "Hey, I'm still alive. Here's how you can contact me." Attempting to be cheap and not knowing how to use the internet very well, I decided to sign in Jeff at his high school under the same account. Once again, I just did a brief, "this is who I was and this is how you can get a hold of me."
It wasn't very long after that my sister-in-law Jenny called me laughing hysterically. I evidently had signed Jeff in under my name, and his bio said,
"In high school, I was known as Jeff Ellerbee. Now I'm known as Gina Ellerbee."
Let's just say that since it appeared I outed my tranvestite husband on the internet in front of all of his high school chums, I haven't been allowed to do much with classmates.com for the last 10 years.
But back to our 10 year high school reunion. My friend Lisa and I did go back in 2000. I remember specifically bribing and brainwashing Jordan, who was 9 years and 7 months old (you do the math), to tell people she was 8 years old. Heaven help me. God forgive me. I also loaned out Jaiden, who was just a few months old, to Lisa who pretended she belonged to her. She didn't want people to know that she was 28 and didn't have any children yet. Oh I can't believe we did that!
So, what I'm trying to figure out... is this:
How do I turn this:
Back into this? In a mere 24 months?
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Photo of the day...
Jameson's hair after washing, drying with curling brush and hair dryer, numerous attempts at Chi Iron straightening, and a few last minute curls with 2 inch curling iron.Time to fix...2 hours +
Number of products used...3
Permanent damage to hair...unknown
Happiness factor for our little girl.... unlimited
Our Little Diva
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
My idol pick this week...
Bye Bye Jason! You're as gone as your lyrics were last night. Besides Jason, I actually had a hard time picking this weeks idol pick...but I'm a true David Cook fan at heart.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Follow up
I thought I would let everyone know how we are doing post the " I want to go back to Ethiopia" statement of last week. We were driving to the Circus Days last Friday and all three little girls are sitting in the back of the Expedition when I heard Jameson say, "That's me. That's my picture in Ethiopia." That caught my attention. Upon further investigation, I found that all three of them were going through my wallet. Credit cards, insurance cards and permanent resident cards were being thrown around like rice at a wedding. I explained that they were not allowed to go through my wallet, instructed them to put everything back where they found it, and HAND IT OVER NOW!
I explained to Jameson that the card she had gave her permission to be a resident of the United States. I tried to tell her how important that card was. (I had it in my wallet because I needed it when I got their SS cards... and never put it back in the "important paper" place).
I had to laugh. I know it's not funny. But with a very suspicious tone, she replied, "I lose this. I go back to Ethiopia?" Jordan and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing because I think we both saw the same mental image of Jameson going through all my papers trying to light her green card on fire or flush it down the toilet.
I may be wrong. She may have thought that SHE needed to protect it because she didn't really want to go back to Ethiopia. Maybe SHE thought that could actually happen... I'm not sure. I did try to explain that we could get it replaced and that she WAS NOT going back to Ethiopia, even if she lost the card. We continue to have some struggles with her. While we are happy that she has so much pride in her country, and we have attempted to instill that in her, it gets old playing the "my country is better than your country" game. Just about everything fun that we did this week was answered with, "We have this in Ethiopia, but it's better/bigger/nicer etc."
Josh is so much more quiet than Jameson, I felt I needed to talk to him to make sure he was not feeling the same way since I'm sure he wouldn't come right out and say it like Jameson. I asked him what he thought about America etc. He indicated that he was very happy here. When I asked him whether he missed Ethiopia, he kind of shrugged his shoulders and said, "A little, I guess." I asked him about Jameson wanting to go back to Ethiopia, to see if he could enlighten me any on her behavior these last few weeks. He said, "I don't know. Maybe she crazy."
I know that on the outside, it probably appears that Jameson is more attached/happier/secure than Josh, but I believe it to be the other way around. Jameson is so clingy to me. She is almost overly affectionate... like she doesn't want to let go. It's hard to get her to even go play with the girls a lot of times because she won't leave my side. When she meets new people, she initially plays the shy game and will literally crawl under me to protect her, but then within minutes, she will be all over them; kissing them, crawling on them, hugging and hanging on them... Then there's other times she won't have anything to do with me. No eye contact, no verbal contact, nothing. Just a flat affect. I know she's got to have some attachment issues, and we are dealing with those. I think we can just continue to show her unconditional love, be consistent with our discipline, and make sure that she knows that we're not going anywhere.
Josh, on the other hand, is quiet and more of a thinker. He is affectionate and will come and hug us, but he has his limits, which I see as being really healthy. He definitely needs his personal space and is able to do that when he needs to. Sometimes he will just go downstairs and play, then a little while later, he will join the family again. He is definitely becoming more of a story teller and talking so much more. His stories are great and really entertaining. Maybe I just can relate to him more because I tend to be more quiet and need personal space more than the average person. I can see where he's coming from.
We continue to make it day by day. I think we're making progress a little at a time, and will continue to grow in our love and respect for one another while developing healthy boundaries and coping mechanisms.
I explained to Jameson that the card she had gave her permission to be a resident of the United States. I tried to tell her how important that card was. (I had it in my wallet because I needed it when I got their SS cards... and never put it back in the "important paper" place).
I had to laugh. I know it's not funny. But with a very suspicious tone, she replied, "I lose this. I go back to Ethiopia?" Jordan and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing because I think we both saw the same mental image of Jameson going through all my papers trying to light her green card on fire or flush it down the toilet.
I may be wrong. She may have thought that SHE needed to protect it because she didn't really want to go back to Ethiopia. Maybe SHE thought that could actually happen... I'm not sure. I did try to explain that we could get it replaced and that she WAS NOT going back to Ethiopia, even if she lost the card. We continue to have some struggles with her. While we are happy that she has so much pride in her country, and we have attempted to instill that in her, it gets old playing the "my country is better than your country" game. Just about everything fun that we did this week was answered with, "We have this in Ethiopia, but it's better/bigger/nicer etc."
Josh is so much more quiet than Jameson, I felt I needed to talk to him to make sure he was not feeling the same way since I'm sure he wouldn't come right out and say it like Jameson. I asked him what he thought about America etc. He indicated that he was very happy here. When I asked him whether he missed Ethiopia, he kind of shrugged his shoulders and said, "A little, I guess." I asked him about Jameson wanting to go back to Ethiopia, to see if he could enlighten me any on her behavior these last few weeks. He said, "I don't know. Maybe she crazy."
I know that on the outside, it probably appears that Jameson is more attached/happier/secure than Josh, but I believe it to be the other way around. Jameson is so clingy to me. She is almost overly affectionate... like she doesn't want to let go. It's hard to get her to even go play with the girls a lot of times because she won't leave my side. When she meets new people, she initially plays the shy game and will literally crawl under me to protect her, but then within minutes, she will be all over them; kissing them, crawling on them, hugging and hanging on them... Then there's other times she won't have anything to do with me. No eye contact, no verbal contact, nothing. Just a flat affect. I know she's got to have some attachment issues, and we are dealing with those. I think we can just continue to show her unconditional love, be consistent with our discipline, and make sure that she knows that we're not going anywhere.
Josh, on the other hand, is quiet and more of a thinker. He is affectionate and will come and hug us, but he has his limits, which I see as being really healthy. He definitely needs his personal space and is able to do that when he needs to. Sometimes he will just go downstairs and play, then a little while later, he will join the family again. He is definitely becoming more of a story teller and talking so much more. His stories are great and really entertaining. Maybe I just can relate to him more because I tend to be more quiet and need personal space more than the average person. I can see where he's coming from.
We continue to make it day by day. I think we're making progress a little at a time, and will continue to grow in our love and respect for one another while developing healthy boundaries and coping mechanisms.
A Dream Come True
Friday was Circus Days at Justine's Preschool. Her class was Mrs. Price's Prancing Poodles. I have already mentioned how much she loves poodles, and if she can't have one, she'd like to be one. So this is a dream come true for her. When I told her this was a dream come true, she replied, "No not yet, but I bet I'll dream about it tonight."
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