Text Message Thursday

Message: "My German Bio teacher just said "Bingo." It was nice."

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Message: "I'm so glad our kids are getting married. Soooo excited. Their vows can be like I promise to share my toys with you. I promise to eat macaroni and cheese with you."

Reply: "I promise to stop crying every time I have to sit on the potty since I'm still in training."

Message: "We are sick and twisted, aren't we?"

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Message: "I just told Jack about alligator land. And he said, "do you think that's a good idea? We'd be like hey, where's Cooper....? UGH."

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Message: "I'm listening to Lionel Richie and thinking about you."

Reply: "So creepy in the sweetest possible way. That makes me feel so much more comfortable when I do weird things like that with you in mind."

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Message: "I had a dream that we were hanging with Sandra Bullock and her brown baby. And we were all bff's."

Reply: "I love it that she named her baby Louis."

Message: "I know !"

Reply: "Sandy's baby is ADORABLE! I can call her that cause we're all bff's."

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Message: "I'm joining oil spill info groups on fb to stay updated."

Reply: "I just thought you'd like to join as well... We have to stay connected to make good choices for our future."

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Message: "I forgot to tell you... During the happy hands routine, jameson kept messing it up and giving everyone the "up yours" sign..."

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Message: "I LOVE THAT SONG. I just love anything Train. I woke up with drops of jupiter in my head."

Reply: "Better than spots of Ur anus..."

Message: "I knew you'd have some smart comment on that one..."

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Message: "Jack's uvula is so long. It hangs down and touches his tongue. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Ever. Wanna see it?"

Reply: "Mine hangs so long I can't even see where it ends down my throat. That's weird."

Message: "My tongue's too fat to take a picture."

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Message: "Cooper just licked a raw pork tenderloin. What's gonna happen to him?"

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Message: "I had a dream you were out gigging a bunch of frogs to have a frog leg fry."

Reply: "I had a dream I was eating the most delicious pizza. I wonder if it had frog on it? Am I suffering from lack of carbs?"

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Message: "Uh oh... somebody got facebook for their mobile... yup... this girl. Marriage counseling is just around the corner."

Reply: "I bet there's an app for that..."

Message: "A facebook therapist? Hmmm... that could work."

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Message: "Cooper just stuck his face in the mayo jar and was licking it (the mayo). When I told him to stop, he looked up and had a snot trail down his lip. Should I throw the mayo away now?"

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Message: "Jeff's making fun of me because I told him Madonna adopted two 2 kids from Maui..."

Reply: "Hahaha. I think I'd like to go there and "research adoptions."

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Message: "I think this oil spill has messed up our vacation plans ..."

Reply: "Dollywood? I found a mountain cabin in pigeon forge. Pool table, air hockey, hot tub."

Reply: "Where are you and why do you hate Dollywood?"

Message: "I'm watching a movie about Africa and I don't know why I hate dollywood... I just do."

Message: "I feel like the only way I'm going to be happy is if Destin is magically spared any of the oil spill and my happy butt is sunning on its' beaches."

Reply: "I heard they are asking for pantyhose and left over dog hair to soak up the oil spill. WHAT is that about?"

Reply: "You're making me sad. (not really but kinda) I don't care where we go or what we do as long as we are all together. You pick. We'll go anywhere. Anywhere but Dollywood."

Message: "You know what? As good as all-inclusives sound... I really want all of us in the same house. With our own food and drinks. Our own movies. Even our own crappy oil covered pantyhosed dog hair beaches. I say Florida unless they say it's unhealthy for humans..."

Reply: "Ok. Whatever you say. We'll just photoshop our pics so the tar balls don't show. I bet people will be really nice to us since we came anyway."

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Message: "It's really nice of facebook mobile to not send me your farmville request posts."

Reply: "Your farm sucks."

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Message: "Whatcha doin'?"

Reply: "Watching real housewives of new jersey in between helping (*names left blank to protect the innocent) with a book report. You?"

Message: "I totally want to watch that. I read about it in my US magazine."

Reply: "It's fantastic. I love it... And it comes on on Mondays..."

And an hour later...

Message: "Is it cruel that I like to watch the intervention episodes where the people can't keep their eyes open while they answer the interviewer's questions? I want to cry for them at the same time I'm laughing because they're saying funny things with their eyes closed."

Reply: "Do they have a show for television addiction interventions? Cause that would be awesome."

Message: "If I show up in Florida and ya'll are sitting in a semi-circle holding papers that say "I see tv destroy your life in the following ways..." So help me, I'm outta there."

Reply: "I had to lock all of those. Cause that just made me laugh SOOOO hard. I'm thinking Text Message Thursday..."

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Message: "TORNADO!"

Reply: "At your house? I've been praying for ya'll's safety for 2 days. Al Roker told me to. But I didn't want to scare you."

Message: "Well thanks for the warning..."

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Message: "Whew... what a day."

Reply: "I feel your pain. I just drove through Strafford McD's on the golf cart for milk shakes."

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*During a very boring meeting...

Message: "Do you have any idea what she's talking about?"

Reply: "I have no idea. Just waiting for her to trip and fall down again..."

Message: "She's not a very good speaker..."

Reply: "Really? You mean because of her monotone voice?"

Message: "Or because no one knows what she's talking about?"

Reply: "I'm about to fake a heart attack..."

Message: "It is hard to take poor dressers seriously."

Reply: "Yes... the high waters are distracting."

Message: "Shoot me."

Reply: "I wish she would stop doing that."

Message: "I feel like I'm watching a SNL skit."

Reply: "Glen Close and ????"

Message: "Will Ferrell?"

Reply: "I bet she's good at charades."

Message: "Let's tie her arms behind her back and see if she becomes a mute."

Reply: "I hate it when people say um..."

Message: "He said um 27 times..."

Reply: "Sorry 29."

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Message: "What time will you be home?"

Reply: "(*anonymous car lot)'s body shop caught a customer's vehicle on fire. It might be a bit."

Message: "Hahahahahahahaha...."

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