happy, happier, happiest

As part of my "be happier" mantra of 2010, I decided to get involved with a class at our new church. Well, I say new church, we've been going there for a year and a half. But it just still doesn't feel like the old church. I mean I love it and I mean I really, really love it, but it seems harder to make friends and get involved.

We were very involved with the old church, then hurt by some of the things that happened, and determined ourselves to not let that happen again. In doing so, we've found that we miss those close relationships of the old church, but love the new church. Does that make sense?

The options for the class were divorce care, new Christian class, financial class (which is what I really should have signed up for, but it didn't fit into my "just squeak by financially" plan for 2010), and a class toting something about getting happier and getting rid of hurts, hang ups and habits.

I've got some of those. I've got some relationships that need working on.

So I decided... kinda quickly... that I would sign up for the class designed to get rid of hurts, hang ups and habits.

I didn't get there in time for a favored position on one of the 8 couches, and I found myself in the back on one of the very hard, cold folding chairs. I browsed through the book, which is based on the Beatitudes. I like the Beatitudes. This is gonna be cool. The guy doing the DVD part is the guy that wrote The Purpose Driven Life; an excellent read and one that I really enjoyed.

Then the leader passes out little cards for everyone to give their information.

Celebrate Recovery Info Cards...

What?

Then "This is celebrate recovery program based on the 12 steps of AA..."

What the?

Why does miscommunication and chaos follow me with every step?

I grab my phone and begin texting:

"I signed up for a class at church cause I wanted to make friends and get the kids more involved... I just got here and I'm in a celebrate recovery class. Ooops.
Should be fun."

"WHAT? Oh my word! Do you have to stand up and say hi I'm gina... I'm addicted to quoting the hangover?"

"Yes. I think so. I sat on the wrong side of the room. I don't think I can escape without making a scene. Why am I so stupid?"

"How in the world do you end up at AA by accident? Uh oh, God's telling you something..."

"I can't stop laughing. And everyone is staring at me."

"Recovery isn't a joke Gina. But accidental recovery is freaking hilarious."

"They just said if you're in the wrong class, divorce class is next door. I just sat there, totally stunned, not knowing which would be worse. Everyone thinking I'm in AA or getting a divorce."

"How did you not know it was a recovery class? Was it called something really fun?"

"Cause I'm stupid, that's why."

_______________________________

So I ended up staying for the Celebrate Recovery class. I actually learned a lot.

The leader says this class isn't just for addicts.

What?

It's for people who have perfectionist tendencies...

depression, frustration, anger, difficulty saying no, guilt issues...

While I hid in the back of the room, eyes on the door for an open opportunity to flee, I heard the pastor from Saddleback say that the root of my problem was that I was trying to play God.

What? I kept my eyes on the door, but perked my ears a little towards the huge TV screen.

We play God when we:

1. attempt to control our image... not letting people see the real imperfect us
2. attempt to control others by manipulating each other
3. attempt to control our problems by thinking we can handle it all
4. attempt to control our pain by avoiding or denying it

Huh... that's kinda interesting. But I'm still in the wrong class.

Then they listed the consequences of trying to play God.

Fear

Frustration

Fatigue

Failure

What the heck? Seriously?

The more I listened, the more I thought perhaps God knew better today. Perhaps he knew what class I needed to be in to find my happy, happier, happiest. And perhaps, just perhaps, He's trying, in a very humorous way, to show me that He still knows what's best for me, even when I question Him, laugh at Him, and try to be Him.

And only He knows how hard I have laughed this entire night. I'm still laughing right now. Certainly a good start to my happy, happier, happiest plan.