Retardadon and Lameasaurus

We have been looking forward to it for weeks... Fine Arts Day Camp at a local church. The girls blessed the actual day with the dramatic flair that made me enroll them in the first place.

As we were going in the door, Jameson heard a father ask his also quite unsure daughter to "give it a shot." Jameson freaked out and started running for the door. She kept saying, "I don't want a shot. I don't want a shot." Of course, I was sporting my usual befuddled look, requiring a rewind/playback of the last 5 minutes to try and figure out what on earth she was talking about. When I try to explain what the slang phrase, "give it a shot" means, she continues to clammer for the door. After a mini English lesson, we get that straightened up and head into the registration area.

Justine suddenly becomes attached to my leg... I keep trying to kick free. I have no idea what's wrong with her. She's been to preschool at this church. She's been to vacation bible school here before. I knew when I looked into her eyes that this wasn't going to work. I coaxed her into the gym by dangling the possibility of a new Barbie in front of her like a carrot. New barbie... new barbie... new barbie... I try to mesmerize her with the possibilities.

I leaned down with my arms wrapped around her, at first trying to be ultra sweet to her. Then I begin threatening. "If I take you home, you're going to have to do chores. This is a lot more fun." She replies, "I don't like fun."

Suddenly they turn on the PA system/microphone, and it makes the most horrible noise I've ever heard before. My head was swimming, the room was spinning. Justine freaked out and pulled down on my neck, pulling me over on top of her. So now I'm LAYING on the floor of the gym... on top of Justine...holding my head...struggling to get up. I'm sure no one saw it though. Yeah right!

The children began to gather in a circle in the middle of the gym. Suddenly Jameson and Jaiden act like they have no idea what a circle is. All of the other children were pretending to be animals; while my children are standing there looking quite lost. Jordan and I attempt to get them to participate. When asked what kind of animals they were, Jordan mutters under her breath, "Retardadon and Lameasaurus." I stifle a giggle while I try to get a good picture of Justine crying and pouting... just for posterity's sake. Always the supportive older sister, Jordan says, "This is so embarrassing." I'm not sure why it as SO embarrassing for her. I was the one sprawled out on the floor 5 minutes before.

So we end up taking Justine home with us. As soon as we get in the car, she asks, "Are we going to get my Barbie now?"

"Oh no little girl. No Barbie for you."