My photogenic boys

Oh how I love these photogenic boys!

Enjoy!

Update

So... the crying has begun.

Jeff started it with a sappy text message to Jordan about how much she means to him... etc. I finally got him settled down and then the rest started in.

Jaiden is a hot mess. She is sobbing hysterically. Justine has shed a few. Jameson has cried intermittently. If Josh knew how to cry... I'm sure he would be sobbing.

Jack offered to make a replica of Jordan's face out of Lego's.

I am packing.

I have 5 upset children in my bed.

It's gonna be a long night.

And a longer drive tomorrow.

Thoughts on tomorrow

As I pack to take my eldest to college tomorrow, my mind is a rambling mess of thoughts.

The lists are there... obviously because I am Gina Ellerbee and that's what I do.

But also thoughts of what's it going to be like?

What's it going to be like to see her walk under that archway at the University of Chicago while I stay on the other side?

What on earth will that 9 hour drive home on Tuesday be like?

And the week after that?

As we seek to find our new normal of maintaining contact via text message and email instead of me jumping on her bed in the morning to wake her up...

... my mind is a rambling mess.

Committed

A testament of my mental health?

Nope.

Although there are some days I wonder ...

Just several situations I've been thinking about lately.

Situation 1

I hear from a friend that she's getting divorced. They have nothing in common. They stayed together for the sake of their child. They live separate lives. Now 6 years later, they realize they can't salvage the relationship. They are done pretending. Another friend tells me "she is done." Done trying to make it work. Done trying to have the marriage she dreamed of. Done being married. It's casual conversation. It's said with a smile. I certainly don't claim to have a perfect marriage... ask my husband.

But I am committed to it.

There are obviously situations that warrant divorce, and I don't want to cause any hurt feelings for anyone who is or has gone through that experience. I certainly am not the one to be pointing any fingers at anyone. I'm talking about the people who don't even try. They expect marriage to be easy. They expect every day to be like a romance novel. They give up.

So how do you slip into that state of mind that living separate lives seems OK? Natural? Healthy? I'm sure it happens a little bit at a time. You sleep in the guest room once... and then it becomes a habit? You place a higher value on yourself or your friends just once, and that too becomes a habit?

I often take care of patients who tell me they've been married for 50+ years. I love to ask them how they did it. You know what I always hear?

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS hear?

They didn't give up. They stuck it out even when it wasn't great. They knew that just as the difficult times would come, so would the good times. The continuous ebb and flow of marriage. And as I've grown older, this is a thought that has kept me going through the bad days, weeks or even months. I know that as bad as it may be today, it is guaranteed to change tomorrow.

Situation 2

I took care of a 20 year old young man with cerebral palsey this week. He has the mental abilities of about a one year old and is completely unable to do anything for himself. His mother continues to care for him at home and does an excellent job. Changing diapers for 20 years.... Feeding him through a feeding tube.... Sitting in hospital rooms intermittently for 20 years; yet she stands up for him. She is his advocate. She is committed to him.

Would we all be so committed?

What if that child was adopted?

I will be the first to admit that life is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Adoption is really hard. But I am committed to it. When we first came home from Africa and my kids were breaking everything in sight and throwing dirty toilet paper on the floor and refusing to eat or speak to us, I wondered, ever so briefly, "what in the world I was thinking?"

I prayed constantly to God, "This has got to be OK. You need to make this OK." I knew that it would be OK. Because we were committed to having the family we wanted. We are not perfect. We are not even close, but we are also not quitters. I knew even then, even in the deepest, darkest, moment of despair, that we would make it. That we would be blessed. And we have been.

It's not easy to keep up with all of their activities. It's not easy to keep up with their homeschooling. But we do it because we are committed. We work hard because of the end result. We work hard to teach them to work hard.

Situation 3

My daughter leaves for college in 2 days. She is going to one of the top ten schools in the nation. I know it peeves her that U Chicago doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as the name of some ivy league schools, but it is an absolute honor that she has been accepted and is going to be a 2013 U Chicago graduate. But once again, this wasn't handed to her. She didn't win the college lottery. She worked very hard for it. She was committed to it. She gave up a lot of things to have what she wanted. She has wanted to go to college since she was like 10. She has earned her position at this pretigious University through hard work.

So I guess the week has me wondering why it seems people give up so quickly. Why is it so easy to give up their dreams? Hopes? Families? Husbands? Wives? Education?

They wanted that marriage. They wanted that family. They wanted that 6 figure income. They want the end result but not the hard work it takes to get there.

I feel challenged to commit to the things I hold personally sacred to me.

I feel challenged to not fall into that trap of living a separate life from my spouse.

I feel challenged to love my children unconditionally for their differing skin tones, IQ's, personalities, backgrounds, and quirks.

I feel challenged to commit myself to the Lord all of my plans for our future.

I challenge you.

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Proverbs 16:3

This is where I've been...

Nevermind that my pool is a dirty mess and needs to be closed, my yard looks like a jungle, my pantry is bare, and my laundry is piled up...

I've been watching some awesome soccer!

Text Message Tuesday

Yet another installment of my favorite texts this week.

It's been a good week, hasn't it?

just how many times do the Beatles come up in my text conversations in one week?

Message: "I just got interviewed for the news tonight. Please tell me Ringo played the drums for the beatles."

Reply: "Where are you and why are you talking about the Beatles?"
_________________________________________________

sometimes I have to update Jeff on things right at the moment or I won't remember

Message: "Have you seen Mae Mae's tooth that is coming out through the bottom of her gums?"

Reply: "No. Sorry I haven't."

Message: "It's disgusting and it's gonna be expensive. OMG."
_________________________________________________

sometimes text messages are work-related warnings...

Message: "Poop down your leg friend is back..."

Reply: "I definitely won't wear my good scrubs tomorrow..."

_________________________________________________

sometimes text messages are self-explanatory

Message: "Nights suck. I wish I could win the lottery. That's my only way out."

Reply: "Death..."

Message: "I don't advise it. Too final."

__________________________________________________

sometimes I like to torture Jeff while sitting across the side of the soccer field from him

Message: "You look lonely."

Reply: "I feel lonely."

Message: "You should."

Reply: "Should what?"

Message: "Should feel lonely... you're all alone."

Reply: "Wanna come sit with me?"

Message: "No thanks. I'm being entertained here ..."

_____________________________________________________

sometimes text messages are sad

Message: "Grandma can't remember my name."

Reply: "Sorry."

____________________________________________________

sometimes text messages are embarrassing

Message: "I took the kids to a buffet for lunch and there must be a nursing home group here or something. Lots of wheelchairs, walkers, etc. Justine really loudly looks at one of them and says,'what is it broken leg day?'"

Reply: "Sweet Justine. She would." ___________________________________________________

Message: "Aiden sleep walks and just walked into our room and said, mom um, do you, um know where, not the spelling words but the big tuba thing is?"

Reply: "So did you find him the tuba? Was it with the spelling words?"

Message: "No. I pointed him towards his bed. Very entertaining."

Reply: "Why can't I have a kid who sleep walks?"

____________________________________________________

I love it when I get other peoples confessions via text message

Message: "Addis just punched Miranda in the eye with her little fist and then said, 'you want some more?'"

Reply: "Nice..."

____________________________________________________

we thought text messaging would be a good way to keep in touch with our kids...

Message: "Where are you?"

Message: "I need to hear from you."

Message: "Call me."

Message: "If I find out you are in Nebraska or something, I'm gonna be SO mad at you."

Reply: "I am in Nicole's dorm. I miss her."

Message: "Well miss your phone and start answering it a little more."

evidently we were wrong...

_____________________________________________________

once again, the Beatles just keep coming up this week...

Message: "I hate it when I wear my Beatles t shirt and my boobs are no where near Paul and John, but are hanging down by Ringo and what's his face..."

Reply: "Did you just call my favorite Beatle "what's his face?"

Message: "Really... I can't remember his name..."

Reply: "George. George Harrison!!!!!! I'm gonna pretend you did not just text that."

Message: "Ah man. If I had a tiger, I'd name him George because I keep forgetting about him."

Reply: "Hilarious. You really are."

__________________________________________________

Message: "I totally want to start a text message Tuesday on my blog. Only problem is that all of my texts are movie quotes..."

Reply: "Ah... thanks. This will be on there tomorrow."

___________________________________________________

Awkward Family Photos

I found this awesome website called Awkward Family Photos.

This photo made me laugh out loud and once again ask, "What on earth were they thinking?"

He doesn't look a bit like Jesus.

Have a laugh on me.

Sorry....

...I've been so silent lately...

We've been helping Jordan pack for winter in Chicago...

This one is threatening to hide in the luggage.

Pray for me. Pray for us.

10 days, 10 hours, 24 minutes, 10 seconds... until college.