Queen Bee and the Drones

Long-range plans and goals

2011-09-03T09:46:00.002-05:00

I guess an alternative title could have been "What our lives are like now." I love how my Jones soda really summed it up for me last week with this bottle cap advice. This is truly where we're at. As you know, the littles went to public school last year, and I went back to Grad school.

It has all gone swimmingly. The littles have done a great job with the transition. It was a strong move for all of us. While I miss the early days of homeschooling, I do not miss what it turned into for me. In the last year that I home schooled everyone, it became a huge source of failure and frustration for me. There are some things even I am not patient enough to muddle through. I thought I would miss it more, but I think we were all ready for a change. We moved forward and haven't looked back since.

I am 20 months away from obtaining my masters in nursing as a clinical nurse specialist. It is hard. It is stressful. But I also feel like this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm so excited about my options. I'm so excited about doors that are opening for me. Hopefully, I will have my dream job anytime between now and graduation. I've worked night shift weekends for the past 9 years because it met the needs of my family and supplied our family with a nice paycheck. I did this willingly. Now that I know there's an end in sight, I suddenly can't WAIT to be off weekends and specifically night shift, which I believe is slowly killing me. Cross your fingers and say a prayer for me that I will have a normal life soon!

She's serious about the environment

2011-09-01T15:00:00.000-05:00

This is a public service announcement from the youngest bee. She wants to remind everyone to reduce, recycle, and reuse. She takes this serious.

So serious in fact, that's she's made her own Environment Club. She is the president, treasurer, and secretary of the club. She's in charge of production ideas as well as creative director.

She has made badges you can earn for activities such as recycling, reusing items, planting and working in the yard. She's advertising for new members and already has a pretty good following.

Oh, how I love this girl. Her passion. Her creativity. Her obsessive nature. I love it all. I truly think God gave me this child because he knew I would need to be entertained later in life.

Karate Kid

2011-08-31T18:38:00.005-05:00

OK. So actually it's Taekwondo. But whatever.

Jus has been begging for Karate class since last year (around the time the bully appeared... a post for another day). She has been so patient while we've taken everyone else to and from soccer practice, to and from football practice, English tutoring, etc.

I feel like we often put our entire lives on hold for this soccer thing. I'm not saying I don't want them to play, but it's very expensive, involves a lot of traveling, and someone has practice every single night of the week. Add in games and we spend the time equivalent of a full time job every week on just soccer. And poor Justine gets drug along as the sibling cheerleader.

And she didn't want to play soccer. She wanted mixed martial arts.

And tonight, I delivered. Adorable, isn't she? Of course, as soon as I got home, I choked on a slew of phrases I never thought I'd have to say...

"Put your sister's nunchucks down. NOW."

"Now punch your brother."

"Show Daddy how you punched the nice man."

Street Soccer and a Magical Surprise

2011-08-30T08:55:00.007-05:00

One of our favorite things to do is play street soccer at night. Our neighbors probably hate us; we get a little loud. We stay out a little too late. I'm a big fan of making magic. Magical memories. Street soccer for us is one of those things we do to make magical memories. The kids get to stay up late. We get to play with them. We live our lives in a way that we are running from one soccer practice to another; one activity to another. Jeff and I have to work long and hard hours to make all of this happen. But for a few hours, we can be silly and crazy and magical. And not worry about schedules and chores and cleaning up after this mass of people.

A few weeks ago, we enjoyed a brief interruption in the 100+ degree weather. The boys moved out a few chairs we had been storing in the garage. White trash? Perhaps. Mine was a recliner... yeah. That's right. A recliner in the drive way. It's OK, you can judge. I don't mind.

People would drive by and stare at us, but honestly, we're used to that. People stare at us no matter where we go. On this specific Friday, a familiar car drove by VERY slowly. As I approached the passenger side, the window slowly rolled down, and I saw a familiar face. Jordan's smile illuminated through the dark, and I think I started screaming. My parents and Jeff had flown Jordan in from Chicago for the weekend to surprise me. My dad drove all the way to Kansas city to pick her up. What a surprise. And this, my friends, is the best kind of surprise EVER.

I'm in a better place than I was last year, as far as missing her and dealing with it. I think because we chat or text or talk just about every single day. And I'm busy. I don't have time to spend much time feeling sorry for myself. But oh Lord, how I miss that girl on a daily basis. It literally was the best night ever. Poor Jordan. As used to this group as she can be, being away for months at a time makes the masses crazy. The kids were absolutely ALL over her. Two words: overwhelming and personal space. Oops. That's three. Once we finally got the kids settled and in bed, Jordan crawled in bed with us, and we chatted about her life until 2 am. It was the way life is supposed to be. Thank you to my mom and dad, Jeff and Jordan for making it happen. And this night was definitely magical.

Afraid to blog; Afraid to not blog

2011-08-29T21:35:00.006-05:00

After a nearly year long hiatus from this blog, I have occasionally felt a yearning to return. In a way, I've been afraid to even type those letters into the address bar. Afraid my blog, which I loved so much, would be gone? A fear that it would bring me back to times that were bittersweet. This blog represents times of complete happiness and utter despair for me. Returning represents an embarrassment of my year long absence.

But I'm back.

I will hopefully find a few minutes here and there to document our lives in this strange forum. I'll need somewhere to document how I survive Jordan being in Egypt for a semester this winter. A place to focus my angst of having 4 teenagers soon. A place to document and photograph my muse, Justine. An arena to document my last 20 months of grad school and hopefully the beginning of career advancement. Who knows? I guess I'll give it a try.

More to follow soon.

Hugs.

I've been thinking...

2011-08-29T18:19:00.001-05:00

After a year hiatus and at the pinnacle of business, I've been thinking I should start blogging again... You know, just to share the craziness of our lives! We'll see. I don't know if I have anything interesting left to say.

Craigslist

2010-09-17T16:09:00.004-05:00

I've been searching every week or so for a white dresser for Jaiden. She inherited her room with hodge podge furniture and her dresser is a plastic stackable bin. Poor thing.

I laughed so hard when I clicked on this one. I just had to share. Check it out. Maybe make them an offer they can't refuse.

.......5 DOLLARS....... KIDS Dresser.......

I especially love how only one drawer is missing...

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2010-09-14T21:59:00.002-05:00

I choose to laugh

2010-09-13T22:50:00.002-05:00

Our lives in the spring and fall revolve around soccer. It's kinda like being married to a farmer who's out plowing in the fields during harvest and seed time. I'm sure farmer's wives don't see their husbands much during "farm" time. I don't know. I just made that up. I've never even been to a farm.

But I do often refer to myself a soccer widow. I often refer to myself in the third person, but that's yet another story. Anyway, we are making the 30+ minute trip to the north side 4 days a week for 8 different practices, games all day on Saturday and a 3 hour trip to Kansas City every Sunday.

Tonight, we were basically stuck on the north side all evening; between dropping Jack off at soccer and taking Josh back for a soccer game, we had some time to spare and a hunger in our bellies. So we went to a hole in the wall Chinese food buffet. Luckily we were the ONLY people there.

Imagine my surprise when I looked over to see Jameson basically laying on the buffet. Instead of WALKING around to the other side to get what she wanted, she crawled underneath the glass awning meant to prevent people from contaminating the food, just so that she could reach those delicious little fried balls with sugar on them; you know the ones I'm talking about.

We all just burst out laughing. Because at this point, what else can you do? I could get all crazy and ballistic about it. I could give a lecture about public health policy and how many violations she just made. I could get down and beat myself up about failing as a mother. AGAIN.

Instead, I just laughed like a hysterical crazy person who needs to be committed.

I'm in love. I'm in love. And I don't care who knows it...

2010-09-13T22:09:00.009-05:00

I should be writing a paper about the cytokine mediated inflammatory response in relation to the extracorporeal circulation of the cardiopulmonary bypass machine...

But instead I'm falling in love with photoshop.

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2010-09-11T13:57:00.001-05:00

Japanese Fall Festival

2010-09-10T21:47:00.006-05:00

I love the way the fall sun looks in the afternoon. The colors are so vivid and bright.
The Japanese Fall Festival is a fall traditional for our family.

LOVE this. Check out Justine's face. It cracks me up. Such a little geisha.

Jack and Jaiden look so much alike, it's almost impossible to know who is who. My little twins.

These two... you can definitely tell apart. Josh makes a great geisha girl, don't you think? He was almost too cool to get up there. Geez. That happened fast. He's come a long way in a few years, hasn't he?

Jack tried his hand at chop sticks. He was really good at it.

And Jaiden was a pro at catching fish by hand. She starting helping other people catch their fish too.

Jordan just loved being with her family during her last few weeks at home.

The Karate Kid Geisha Girl... he could kick you or make you tea.

The girls enjoyed their free face paint...

And I enjoyed the fact that they were happy with the free cheek paintings and didn't insist on the full face expensive ones.

We even had a little Ethiopian reunion with Ari the Great!

How shocking!

The kids had a great time on the stepping stones. The water was so green and beautiful. Jeff was quick to point out that it was because of "more green dye" that they add to the water. We almost fell in the water when we thought he was saying "Morgan died." (Morgan is our dog. And we found it weird Jeff would choose to tell us of his demise at a family outing...) Thank God, Morgan is alive and ruining my back yard as we speak.

I made everyone stay until after dusk because I wanted to see the torches lit throughout the garden.

It was beautiful.... even with the mosquitoes!

We fed the fish in the dark. When one of the fish jumped and made a splash, Jameson screamed and jumped in my lap. You would have thought JAWS was alive and well at the Japanese Gardens.

There's something so mesmerizing about the torches. All my little fire bugs had to play with the flames.

I don't know why... I just love cat tails. Is that what these are called?

Justine determined this was the best day of her life. She got a fish. And a face painting. It was even better than the beach. Really? (Insert questioning sarcastic mom voice here...) Really? It was pretty good, but maybe just shy of the beach.

I feel better now...

2010-09-10T21:22:00.003-05:00

Jeff and I declared today as a homework free day. We packed up the kids and went to the Japanese Fall Festival instead. Granted, we were eaten alive by mosquitos, but we had a great time.

It was so nice to not be fighting with Jameson about homework or *everything* else for that matter. It was so nice to just be laughing and enjoying each other.

I emailed Jameson's counselor and teacher this morning. If you think I verbally vomited on you guys this morning, then I projectile vomited all over them.

When I wrongly said Jameson was being evaluated for special ed, the counselor corrected me by saying she was "being considered for a special ed evaluation...." Well exxxxxcuse me.

Jesus.

What else does the kid need to do to get a special ed eval? So she's being considered for an eval. Whatever the #$%& that means. So they have 30 days to decide whether the child who can barely read and is dyslexic will even qualify for an eval. Whatever.

But the teacher was awesome. We worked out a plan for her to send Jameson's spelling words home on Fridays instead of Mondays so we can work on a plan set up by the vision therapist (I'll get to that on another post). She said she was totally able to modify what she's doing in the classroom and that we would come up with a solution that would work for Jameson.

I feel so much better knowing that at least the teacher is on board. She even said she knew this was so tough for all of us and that it would be OK.

Now, this being said, does not excuse Jameson from the lying, hiding, fighting and overall BADNESS she has been displaying to us (well to me...), but hopefully when she feels less stress at school and during the post school homework period (I prefer to call it "torture with mom" time), her behavior will also improve.

It had better.

Or I will freak.

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2010-09-10T21:15:00.002-05:00

Verbal Vomit

2010-09-10T08:37:00.002-05:00

Our transition to public school has gone... well... swimmingly, for most everyone.

Justine is bored to death. Her spelling words are words she did in kindergarten. Her teacher jokingly refers to her as her "college student." She likes school for the most part.

Jaiden is the social butterfly we knew she would be. I haven't seen her do any homework at home, and she insists she's doing it all at school, but I guess time will tell whether that's true or not.

Jack is thriving. He was the one I was a little worried about, but he is a reading fool and seems to be learning to organize and get his assignments turned in. He's going to play the xylophone in the band.

Josh is doing OK. He seems to be getting the hang of it. He doesn't ask for help very often and usually thinks he knows everything anyway, so once again, time will tell.

And that leaves Jameson.

Jameson is being evaluated for special education. She is so far behind and so clueless about what they are doing in 5th grade. This is impossible. Evidently it takes 30 days for them to evaluate for special ed. I took in all her test results (the ones that showed her at the low end of 2nd grade) the second week of school because I knew she would need an IEP (individualized education plan) and possibly a 504 (for medical needs). I tried to get all of those this summer (and even at the end of last school year when we knew she was going to public school), but no one seemed interested then.

It started as little things. She keeps losing her glasses. She leaves her stuff all over the house. She almost misses the bus (while looking for her glasses that she has no idea where she put). Forgets her homework. Hides her homework. Lies about her homework. Fights with me about how to do her homework. She fights with me about wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts to school although she won't take her jacket off and complains about being cold. She just can't seem to get it together. But we keep on trying. Jordan has been great about helping her with her homework. But Jordan's going to be gone soon.

Things seemed to come to a pivotal turn last night while Jameson and I were on a 5 hour homework run. Every time she would tell me she was done, I would find more work. I think she had hid it for several days because I seriously doubt they assigned 3 pages in math and 3 other pages in English. The piano teacher was here and complaining that no one had practiced their piano. Jameson was fighting with me about why it was my fault she hasn't practiced piano. The doorbell kept ringing with neighborhood kids wanting to play. The phone was ringing. 4 kids needed help RIGHT now. Justine started crying and sobs, "You never have time to listen to me read because you're always helping her..." I felt like the room began spinning out of control as I looked at what my life has become.

I typed up a quick letter to the special ed department to let them know we would no longer be doing 5 hour marathon nights of homework, and that they need to get special ed figured out RIGHT now. I requested an after school tutor. We have to do something because we cannot do this. This is not working. Everyone else is suffering. I am suffering. This is ridiculous. I emailed the piano teacher that we are quitting for now. I am done. This is why I couldn't homeschool anymore because all my time was going towards her. And now, the same thing is happening. I guess if the school can't get an after school tutor, I will just pay for one because I cannot do this anymore.

How's that for a verbal vomit of my life? Not very pretty, is it?

That one day we all got tattoos...

2010-09-09T10:04:00.013-05:00

Before our famous vacation in Florida (perhaps I mean infamous?), we searched and brainstormed for a unique tattoo in Amharic that would mean something to all of us.
We went round and round before deciding on this one...

ፍቅር አሸነፈ

Love Wins

In Amharic, it is pronounced Fikre Ashanafa. Or Fingers Astronauta if you are Amharic impaired.

I used to wonder, seriously wonder, whether love does win. Does love conquer all? I've come to the conclusion that without love, the rest of it doesn't matter anyway. Love does win.

All 4 of us got the same tattoo. Immature? Probably. Trashy? Most likely. A sign of our undying love for one another and a tribute to how we all met... Definitely!

Enjoy the photo essay of our trip to Alan's Cool Ink Tattoo Shop in Destin. Sandy the lesbian did a great job on our tattoos. She was a little cold at first, but once we told her what the tattoo meant and how we all met, she warmed up nicely. And don't let anyone tell you it doesn't hurt, it really does.

But now, when I look down at my arm, I'm reminded that Love conquers. Love Wins. This journey we're on matters, and we are all tied together through our love for one another.

And I'm reminded that fingers astronauta.

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The butterfly house

2010-08-07T17:25:00.008-05:00

Cousin Get Together

2010-08-07T17:00:00.013-05:00

Listening to the laughter of children, the kids screaming and the splashing of overly-chlorinated water might sound like any group of cousins getting together to play.

But for us, this informal get together was a lot more than that.

When this particular group of cousins get together, it's a reminder that God is good. God has plans bigger than all of us. It's a reminder that WE can make a difference. We can make the difference in the life of a child, and there is nothing greater than that.

Rewind the clock about 5 years.

Imagine, if you will, as 4 cousins are taken to an orphanage in Ethiopia after their grandmother is unable to care for them any longer. They know no one. They cling to each other as they attempt to make sense of their world. Daily survival is the only thing they can focus on. Tomorrow doesn't count. They have no future; at least not one they can imagine.

Rewind even further... 2 years before that and you will find a grandmother suddenly taking care of 4 grandchildren approximately ages 2,4,6,8 when two mothers die a month apart.

Josh was particularly talkative this week. I love it when he talks about his past because it gives me a better picture of who he really is. I hate it because it hurts. It hurts to know I wasn't always there to protect him. It hurts to think about what he's seen. He told me about when his mother died and his step dad and grandmother fought about who was going to take them in. He smiled and said, "Grandma won." I told him Grandma was a strong, determined woman who got what she wanted, and she would be SO happy watching them all play together. He agreed.

This picture shows Menkem, (Jameson) on the left, Mykias (Michael) front, Kalkidan (top center) and Filemon (Josh) on the right. This was one of their first days in the orphanage.

I've looked at this picture a million times... 3 years ago, I looked at this picture daily; not so much now because I've got the real thing to look at here at home. But it still moves me to tears to see them. I am unable to even imagine what they were thinking and feeling.

These cousins stayed together for about a year and a half at the orphanage. The younger two were adopted by a family who lives in Louisville, Kentucky. It was around the time that Michael and Kalkidan were adopted, that our kids found out about us. In a sense, we were a consolation prize for their loss. When the Killeen's came to pick up Michael and Kalkidan, Josh hid in his room and cried and cried. It breaks my heart in half to think about his pain.

But our God is good. He heals. He puts families together who cling to one another and support each other. He keeps these kids together one way or another. I am amazed to look at these pictures approximately 5 years later. Absolutely amazed.

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2010-08-07T16:47:00.003-05:00

Is it any wonder?

2010-08-07T16:28:00.004-05:00

Why I didn't get a wink of sleep while in St. Louis earlier this week and sleeping with this? She can do the alphabet in her sleep...

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2010-07-27T11:43:00.001-05:00

OK... so Jeff took this one, but it was with my camera. And I taught him everything he knows!

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2010-07-21T21:38:00.003-05:00

Therapeutic Parenting - Out-crazy the Crazy

2010-07-21T21:32:00.001-05:00

Miss Communication

2010-07-21T20:30:00.004-05:00

Josh is playing in a 3 on 3 soccer tournament in a few weeks, and he came into the kitchen tonight to tell me the name they chose for their team.

Here is how that conversation went... word for word.

"Do you want to know the name of our team?"

"Sure...."

"The nut rippers..."

"What?"

"The nut rippers..."

"OMG. That's awful. You can't call yourself that. That's horrible. Who came up with that?"

"Dad..."

"Jeff????"

"What?"

"They can't call themselves that!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What?"

"The Nut Rippers... That's horrible. I will not allow that. I can't believe you actually came up with that... What were you thinking?"

"It's the NET Rippers... like as in ripping the back of the net..."

"Oh. OK. That's good. Nevermind Josh."

And this... my friends is the best thing about having big kids...

2010-07-21T09:50:00.001-05:00

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2010-07-20T22:07:00.001-05:00

Bow Wow Cones...

2010-07-20T10:04:00.000-05:00

I know.

When did I become the type of person who takes their dog to get ice cream?

I don't know how it happened. It was very insidious.

He's just so dang cute.

And he LOVES ice cream.

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2010-07-19T19:28:00.003-05:00

California Bound

2010-07-19T18:40:00.005-05:00

Another installment of "My Life as the Mother of a Near Grown Up."

After weeks of planning and excitement, my ultra feminist daughter walked away, headed towards the Volvo parked in the driveway. The white car packed like a sardine can had California license plates. The 3 inhabitants of the Volvo had driven 36 hours to pick up the 4th.

As they mulled around the kitchen preparing to leave for a 2 week adventure, I just kept breathing. In and Out. In and Out. In and Out.

Destination: Chicago. Minnesota. North Dakota. Yellowstone. Northern California.

I gave out my hugs and told the boyfriend, "Take good care of her..."

Across the porch, she glared at me. "I can take care of myself. I don't need a man to do that."

"I know."

And because I raised her that way ... she was off on the adventure of a lifetime.

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A night at the Drive in

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